Nothing!

Ever since my last posting on 8 April, my mind has been as blank as the blog itself. Looking for inspiration to write something, I found nothing. Nothing has eluded me and my mind is nothing. If I see a psychiatrist, he will ask me what is the first thing that comes into my mind. I will tell him, "Nothing". He will think that I am a nincompoop and lock me up in Woodbridge.

The last time I saw a psychiatrist, I was in my air force uniform. Walking towards the psychiatrist office, I met a group of men marching past me. One of them gave me a salute. I returned the compliment and wondered if that was the right thing to do. Who was more insane?

I had just got married and my wedding picture had appeared in the Monday papers front page, the very day that I was in the psychiatrist office. The caption read: 'Fly boy takes hello girl'. My wife was a telephone operator.

I was in the sitting room alone, waiting for my turn, and could not help noticing the front page of the newspaper in front of me. There were two young nurses on duty. Their whispered conversation went like this.

First nurse, "Is that man in the front page today?"

Second nurse, "Yes, he just got married."

First nurse, "Why does he want to see the doctor?"

Second nurse, "Marriage is not easy. I think he does not want to get married after all."

Although I was not seeing the psychiatrist on account of my marriage, that conversation said a lot about me. Until today, I can still remember that incident in the psychiatrist office.

That happened a long time ago. Too long in fact. Now that I am living out my twilight years, it is more like the twilight zone! Life is just as stressful and things are not as rosy as they are made out to be. Things have not gone as well as I was hoping. Not that I am not grateful for the Lord's blessings, there are many things that I find disappointing that I am trying to cope with.

Today, little Emma came after school. Spending time with her brought some cheer into my life. Now that she has gone home, I look forward to seeing her again on Friday. Emma has been very good and close to me. Playing with her has a therapeutic effect on me, although she often plays rough wrestling with me, makes me feel wanted. Emma has a good nature and a good sense of humour. She can amuse me and amaze me with her funny logic. Now is the best time to be with her because when she grows older, she will have nothing to do with this silly old man.

The swine flu or H1N1 flu seems to be retrogressing. I was thinking of quarantining myself because my wife was born in the year of the pig. She snores like a pig too. At least I still have some sense of humour left in me.

It is now almost 10 pm and time for this silly old man to go to bed. Actually with these very hot and humid nights, I look forward to going into my air conditioned bedroom. Tomorrow, I have transport to church and back, in a friend's car. Otherwise the rain and thunderstorm create havoc for me. It is a luxury to go out in a car, because jumping in and out of public buses, is very stressful. And so, good night to whoever who bothers to read my blog.

Till then....