Down in the dumps!

I have been down in the dumps lately with depressions. That is why there has been no postings for sometime.

Had a big fight with my stupid wife. She started to throw things at me including a rattan foot stool which grazed my right shin. So I picked up the electric fan and tossed it at her. I wanted to throw the television at her, but it was too heavy for me. Nearly ended with me jumping twenty floors down. Neighbours must have thought I was rehearsing for the NDP when I raised my voice. It has been a long time since I lost my temper so badly. I have been trying to control my temper and keeping quiet all these days of retirement but it has been in vain. My wife figured that my quiet demeanor must be a sign of dementia. She always take undue advantage of that. Difficult trying to be nice. At times I felt like giving it all up.

All these right over my birthday. I do not normally celebrate my birthday but this has to be my worst birthday ever. For lunch I had a bowl of Ban Mein at Tekka Mall. For every bite of the noodles, I shortened my life. The darn soup was so hot that I scalded my tongue. After that I browsed around the area and ended up at Sim Lim Square. Had some respite when I chatted with some friends who showed me his holiday video in Eastern Europe. For dinner, I sat down to a meal of sweet and sour fish and rice and carrot juice. The quiet meal gave me some peace and quiet and I was able to calm down. Seeing the people eating and drinking around me and laughing away reassured me that there is happiness among the people. After that I walked home to an empty place, washed and went to sleep. No one was at home and I was able to sleep after wandering around aimlessly for the whole day, feeling very tired emotionally and physically.

Maybe I will be in a better frame of mind to write the next time. Please pray for me.

Till then....