My cross is heavy.

Nothing great has been happening since my last posting. I went for my blood testing since I skipped the one last year. The results were good except that my HDL-Cholesterol is high at 76 mg/dl exceeding the maximum of 70. However that is suppose to be the good cholesterol.

The surprising reading was my fasting blood sugar which was at a low of 53 mg/dl beating the reference low of 65. That accounts for my lethargy and irritability. Sometimes when I am reading the newspaper or working on the PC, I can just keel over and fall asleep.

The doctor told me to eat some bread after dinner. Instead I told him I would prefer some ice cream. Actually what I need is a 'Sweet Young Thing' (SYT), to keep me going.

I have been cutting down on my sugar to avoid diabetes and also to control my weight. Ironically now I have to eat something sweet. What kind of a life is this?

A miracle happened last Wednesday, when my wife accompanied me to church for the Ascension Mass and actually sat next to me. This is rare as she usually goes on her own and whether I am there or not, she will not sit with me.

After Mass, she followed me for dinner of rice dumpling and noodles. She told my daughter she did not enjoy that and had trouble swallowing the dumpling. Terrible woman! If it had been her son, she would have vexed lyrical praises over the food. But because it was me, the food was bad. That is why I do not like eating out with my wife because we are so incompatible. One couple leading separate lives. My cross is getting heavier and heavier. My back is about to break.

Yesterday being Sunday, Emma wanted chicken rice for lunch. So we all ended up eating at Ying's Kitchen. Emma finished one bowl of rice and had a cup cake. Kidding her, I asked her whether she wanted duck rice. She insisted on eating chicken rice. So I asked her if she wanted rice and chicken. The smart kid told me that is also okay.

I have been recommending my friends to eat at Ying's Kitchen. Their feedback has been good as I am trying to help my friend Ying to increase her business. I wrote to the ST food columnist Wong Ah Yoke to visit and do a write-up for Ying. He has replied saying that his colleques or himself will visit Ying's. So if you want good traditional Hainanese chicken rice, you know where to go.

To all those lovers of traditional cakes and curry puffs and chicken pies, including the winged cakes, take note that Balmoral Bakery is now re-opened for business in a cleaner environment. Maybe this will bring up my blood sugar level. Unfortunately it is bad for my weight control. This is a cruel world!

Writing this on a Monday morning and at the beginning of a new week, I wonder what the week will bring me. Maybe some kind souls will brighten up my life for me.

Till then....

Nothing!

Ever since my last posting on 8 April, my mind has been as blank as the blog itself. Looking for inspiration to write something, I found nothing. Nothing has eluded me and my mind is nothing. If I see a psychiatrist, he will ask me what is the first thing that comes into my mind. I will tell him, "Nothing". He will think that I am a nincompoop and lock me up in Woodbridge.

The last time I saw a psychiatrist, I was in my air force uniform. Walking towards the psychiatrist office, I met a group of men marching past me. One of them gave me a salute. I returned the compliment and wondered if that was the right thing to do. Who was more insane?

I had just got married and my wedding picture had appeared in the Monday papers front page, the very day that I was in the psychiatrist office. The caption read: 'Fly boy takes hello girl'. My wife was a telephone operator.

I was in the sitting room alone, waiting for my turn, and could not help noticing the front page of the newspaper in front of me. There were two young nurses on duty. Their whispered conversation went like this.

First nurse, "Is that man in the front page today?"

Second nurse, "Yes, he just got married."

First nurse, "Why does he want to see the doctor?"

Second nurse, "Marriage is not easy. I think he does not want to get married after all."

Although I was not seeing the psychiatrist on account of my marriage, that conversation said a lot about me. Until today, I can still remember that incident in the psychiatrist office.

That happened a long time ago. Too long in fact. Now that I am living out my twilight years, it is more like the twilight zone! Life is just as stressful and things are not as rosy as they are made out to be. Things have not gone as well as I was hoping. Not that I am not grateful for the Lord's blessings, there are many things that I find disappointing that I am trying to cope with.

Today, little Emma came after school. Spending time with her brought some cheer into my life. Now that she has gone home, I look forward to seeing her again on Friday. Emma has been very good and close to me. Playing with her has a therapeutic effect on me, although she often plays rough wrestling with me, makes me feel wanted. Emma has a good nature and a good sense of humour. She can amuse me and amaze me with her funny logic. Now is the best time to be with her because when she grows older, she will have nothing to do with this silly old man.

The swine flu or H1N1 flu seems to be retrogressing. I was thinking of quarantining myself because my wife was born in the year of the pig. She snores like a pig too. At least I still have some sense of humour left in me.

It is now almost 10 pm and time for this silly old man to go to bed. Actually with these very hot and humid nights, I look forward to going into my air conditioned bedroom. Tomorrow, I have transport to church and back, in a friend's car. Otherwise the rain and thunderstorm create havoc for me. It is a luxury to go out in a car, because jumping in and out of public buses, is very stressful. And so, good night to whoever who bothers to read my blog.

Till then....